Never get to comfy

Don't ever get to comfortable is what I learned. Just when I thought the worst was over. So Levi is back with me and never made it to work today, so you can guess what kind of a day it was. Yep it started off by the doctor waking me up. Tayton struggled to breathe all night long and only slept 45 minutes last night. The poor kid has only slept a total of four hours in the past 3 days. They called in the Primary Childrens ear, nose, and throat doctors. They decided to transfer him over to Primarys because his burns are mostly healed and now we need to get his breathing stable. They did a little surgery thing this evening and found some damage in his throat from the fire accident. The new doctor said his airway is only about 25%, which is why he is struggling so much. The good news is we can fix it with loads of steroids and just time to heal. I was so thankful we didn't have to put the ventilator back in. So we are going to stay here in the ICU at Primarys until the breathing gets a little better which they said should be tomorrow night.----------- I don't know why I am going so crazy over here in the ICU. I know I have completly lost it. I am way out of my comfort zone. I have no idea who any of the nurses are, I don't know where to go, there are sick little kids all around us, and the poor kid next to us makes sounds I had no idea were even possible. And the worst part of all is they have grey gloves and yellow gowns, they don't have blue. The nurses here can wear whatever color of scubs they want. It really creeps me out. It is so crazy to me. They have different rules here. The monitors are different, the tubes are different. I don't know what to do. And the sad part is, none of that stuff should even matter but why does it bother me. It bothers me because I have gone insane. I hate the fact that there are other children here. I don't want other families to go through what we are going through. And Tayton isn't even the sickest one. It breaks my heart. I hate it, for some reason and I know I am horrible but it is easier to see old guys in the hospital beds then small beautiful children. I want to leave quickly. I don't want to see other children in pain. I never thought I would say this but I can't wait to go back to my little burn ICU. Sorry for going mentally crazy today. Tayton is going to just fine, it is just going to take a little bit longer than what we were thinking. This just puts things back a little. Hopefully I will learn to appreciate all the great things about this hospital. Have a great night, I am planning on staying here all night just for my sanity. Hopefully I can sleep.