Some days are harder then others

So yesterday was a lot of doctor appointments and I'm not going to lie, it was rough.  We first started with physical therapy at the burn center.  They were pretty busy just making Tayton new splints to sleep in at night because he destroyed all of his other ones.  The thumbs were falling off, they were cracked everywhere.  It was time for some new ones.  He can bend his fingers and wrists better now then he ever has been able to since his accident, but he still has a hard time doing some simple things such as, opening a door, buttoning up his pants and things like that.  He has absolutely no grip strength but hopefully over time he can get some of that back.

So after two hours at physical therapy, it was time to see the burn doctor for his clinic appointment.  She told me that Tayton needs another surgery which we all ready talked about, but this time she explained exactly what would happen.  First they cut off his scar tissue, then they put "integra" a plastic like substance to help with scars.  Then they have to let that heal for 10 days then they will do another surgery and have to do skin grafts over the integra.  I'm not going to lie, I cried a lot.  I am still crying.  I feel like we have come so far in a year, but now we are going back to do more skin grafts and it is like starting this entire process over again.  His first skin graft surgery I didn't know what to expect, but now I know and I don't know how to get through this.

How do I explain to Tayton we have to start over again?  How do I tell him he will need two more surgeries when he has all ready had 7 in a year.  This is heartbreaking to me.  I can't do the painful physical therapy all over again, I can't see him cry like that any more.  It's just too overwhelming to think about and it will take me a while to process everything.  But really the only choice I have is to do it.  I have to be strong for Tayton.  There is no other option.  Somehow I just need to find that extra strength because I have to be strong for him.  I just don't know where that is going to come from.  This has been the hardest year of my life and it is never ending.  How much can one little boy take?

Then after that fun visit we headed to his ENT.  His doctor said he needs to be there for the surgeries to protect his airway so we are trying to see if they will do another airway surgery at the same time.  The problem is at the U of U they don't have child sizes for Tayton so we are going to see if the burn doctors will  operate at Primary Childrens.  It is a long shot but if that means one less surgery for Tayton, I am all for it.
Dr. Smith does think his airway has improved so much so at least we had some much needed positive news.  He still has a long way to go before his airway is stable but he is improving.

So that was our fun day yesterday.  Like I said earlier, just give me a few days to process all of this, and then I should be better.  Just avoid me for a few days because I am pretty down right now.  But we did have the best vacation ever so I will post about that when I can find a minute.  It was so much fun and I need to keep looking at the positive.  Also our house is coming along, I didn't realize how much work it was going to be.  My parents have helped a ton and my in-laws have been a huge help with watching my  kids.  I couldn't do this without them.  We still have to tile and carpet then we can move in.  It will be nice to be in our own place again and I am getting so excited to have a place that it ours!

First day of school!

I know I am a little late posting these pictures, but better late then never!  The kids love being back in school.  On the first day back, Tayton said he didn't want to leave.  He loves school and it was such a blessing that he is healthy enough to go back to school.  I am planning on taking him out of school during the horrible winter months, but if his airway is stable I will try my best to keep him in.  We will just have to wait and see how he does.  So far he is doing great!

 So exciting.

 Ready with his Indiana Jones hat.  Can't get sunburned during recess.

 Waiting for the bus.

 Talking with some friends that he missed.

 It's finally here!  Didn't even turn around to wave goodbye.  He was to embarrassed and wouldn't even kiss his mom goodbye.

 Once Tayton was off to school it was time to get Tanna ready.

 She wasn't scared at all and couldn't wait to ride the bus to school.

 I love her pose.

 Had to show off her backpack.

 Her favorite thing about the first day of school was riding the bus and running the gold medal mile.

 This is the only pictures we got at the bus stop.  It started raining when the bus came, so we didn't get any pictures.  It was so cute, she just hopped on and waved goodbye.

So with two kids away at school I thought I would get a bit of a break.  The first day of school I ended up going to see a Orthopedic doctor and spent the entire time why Tanna was gone waiting in the office.  The 2nd day of school I had to meet with the nurse and principal to discuss all of Taytons medical issues.  The 3rd day of school I got to go get an MRI at the Brigham Hospital for my knee and guess what, I get to have surgery.  I tore my meniscus why I was running with my husband.  Apparently I tore it really bad, and if I don't fix it, it will only get worse and it will eventually just break and it would be a lot worse surgery.  So that will be October 7th, fun I know.  Sometimes I wonder if it will ever end, but I guess I just have to count my blessings that it is me and not my kids.  I would do a million surgeries if it meant Tayton didn't have to go through any more.

Also if I don't post on the blog a ton it is because we are in the process of moving.  Now I know what a lot of you are saying, why in the world would they move again?  Well, we BOUGHT A HOME!!!!!!!  Finally, we found a house in Perry that was in our budget.  We have been deciding what we were going to do, and we even talked about moving to Tremonton or out further north in Box Elder County, but we were hoping something in Perry would come up in our price range so we could keep Tayton in the same school.  We are so blessed that we found a beautiful home that hopefully we can spend the next 50 years in.  We are starting lots of projects and I will post some before and after photos.  I really feel it was such a huge blessing to be able to get this home.  I am so excited!